Travis (mistaht) wrote in game_movies,

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After 11 long years...

I wanted to delay writing this until I had seen the Doom movie twice, so as to avoid overhyping.  Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to see it for the second time until a couple nights ago, so this is quite late in arriving.

But, to get right to the point, I liked the movie and I didn't.  I liked it because I've been waiting for a Doom movie since like 1994 or 1995, when I first read about it in the back of a GameFan.  I didn't like it because it's derivative, cheesy, and doesn't really differentiate itself from any other B-scifi movie with a moderate budget and B-rated star power.  The good news is, although it'll never win any awards, it's Doom, and it doesn't sell out.


  • It's got Space Marines.
  • It's got Imps, Hell Knights, and even a weird, bastardized version of the Pinkie (fuck yes!).
  • The first-person segment was actually a decent idea.
  • Three letters: B. F. G.

Not Doom:

  • Shitty acting and only competent casting.  Most of the Space Marines don't look like Space Marines.
  • It's only got Imps, Hell Knights, and that weird Pinkie (I didn't even realize the Hell Knight was a Hell Knight until the second viewing).  I would have loved to see a Cyberdemon or a Cacodemon tear some bitches up.  Seeing an Arch Vile bring dead monsters back to life would have been fucking terrifying and glorious.  And what was up with the "killer virus" bullshit that mutated people into monsters?
  • The first-person segment was an awesome idea, but was edited horribly.  The scenes "skip," like you're playing a game and running low on memory.
  • The BFG... well... it was pretty fucking cool, honestly.  Did anybody actually get shot with it, though?

Anyway, I like to give game movies two ratings: the game movie rating (how it compares to other game movies) and the movie rating (how it fares as a motion picture).  I would give Doom a 6.5/10 on the game movie scale and a 3.5/10 on the film scale.  There were subtle touches to the movie that will make long-time Doom fans smile, like the  yellow trim in the doorways that made me laugh and say, "You need a yellow key."  But it's just too trite (zing!) and plotless and really doesn't go out of its way to tell you, "This is Doom."  Overall, I'm happy that the movie turned out as well as it did, but I'm still fairly disappointed.  There's the satisfaction of knowing that I saw my favorite game on the big screen, but there's also the realization that I've waited ten or eleven years for something I knew was going to be subpar. 

Fuck it.  It's Doom.  And that's all that matters.

In other news, I recently acquired Alone in the Dark on DVD as an early Christmas present, haha.  As long as I didn't pay for it, it's all good.  I want to own every game movie on DVD at some point, so even the Boll movies will have to find their way to my shelf eventually.

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