Yeah, sorry about that Silent Hill shit I said I'd post and then didn't. Gamespot went and got all fucking crazy on my ass like that Heart song, so I have yet to re-find the shit. If it's still relevant when I finally locate it, I will.
Anyway. To the point we go.
The Doom movie comes out Friday and, to be perfectly frank, I'm constipated with fear. I don't know what the fuck to expect, and I don't know whether to maintain hope that my favorite game of all time will be immortalized tastefully on celluloid, or to go ahead and admit to myself that it's going to be a trite, soulless shitfest in advance and save myself the anguish. I mean, hell, either way that bitch is gonna get seen, and get seen good, I might add. I just don't want to wake up with a hangover Saturday morning in jail because I got wasted and burned the theater down.
Whew. Breathe in, breathe out. I'm going to my happy place. I'm imagining creeping through dimly lit corridors with nothing but a fucking shotgun and my wits, the blasphemous cries and whispers of the damned singing a lullabye of destruction as I mow down the legions of Hell. I'm not thinking about the Rock, skulking through cheaply-produced corridors with pointless special effects and wonky acting causing a brain hemorrhage every time I look at the screen.
Fuck it. I guess I might as well call in at work, because I plan on spending the next 24-36 hours playing Doom on the Playstation nonstop, stopping only to eat and vomit. That way I'll be seeing Doom every time I blink my eyes, and it'll be the Doom I fell in love with.
Anybody who plans on going to see Doom, please let us know what you think. I read this about the test screening and pretty much got what I was expecting: mixed-ass reviews. I need something concrete from other moviegamers.